1898 Miss Candy Licious
Sleep is hard to find most nights here, not for fear of the wild animals but for fear of my own wild thoughts.
Thinking about home conjures anxiety, my body becomes tense with worry over the well-being of my family so far away in Australia.
It’s been 15 years since I’ve seen them all.
I have such a deep longing within me to be reunited with my family, however I’m uneasy about their thoughts of me after seeing what I have become.
They won’t understand how this place changes a person.
The people here are very different from the people in Australia.
Naive of me, I know but, It was of my understanding that this was the land of opportunity and, to be fair, the truth can be found in this statement in some form.
To, a now more wise observer, anybody around here will take what’s yours at any opportunity they get, is the complete truth.
It’s become obvious to me, being in a constant state of on guardedness really affects one’s mind.
Even the crackling of the camp fire has the ability to startle me now days and I know it’s not a healthy state to be in.
Gazing upon the same Moon as my family’s eyes have gazed upon in the hours before reaching me brings me comfort for a short moment then I wonder if they will be ashamed of me?
I’m ashamed of me?
The sole purpose of my migration from Australia was to leave behind the Gang Member and/or Bush Ranger the British law officials had branded me and my whole family with.
I was supposed to be living a peaceful life without being observed by the law.
Current situations, utterly out of my own hands, have found myself and Benson, convicted of murder and on the run from the law after, the wife of the man we apparently murdered, devised a plan and broke us out of prison.
Let’s make it clear. We do not know this woman and we definitely did not kill her husband.
Jessica, as she introduced herself as, was quick to inform us of her knowledge of both mine and Benson’s innocence, and needed our help to catch the real blokes that killed her husband and serve them justice.
I don’t trust Jessica or her sidekick Horley, this woman seems a little mentally askew, and who wouldn’t be after your spouse was Murdered.
She tried sweetening up the situation coaxing us to participate in her plan willingly by saying the real justice would be ours due to the fact of our unlawful convictions and being framed for murder.
Even though I didn’t let it show on my face, this frustrated me. We both knew damn well Myself and Benson were obligated to help, she did break us out of prison after all.
The conflicting emotions over this whole saga are more than overwhelming.
I wasn’t a murder when the law convicted me but now, on my quest for justice I AM.
How does one find sleep at night?